Conqueror and I remained at our vantage point in the foothills until the weather exhausted itself. With the floods beginning to melt into the countryside, and with no signs of my enemies from the north, our journey to the far country and the cave resumed as we headed for lower ground. legenday

Each step was a trial now, however, sinking knee deep in mud, then sliding and falling down on the slippery ridges as we made our way into the long valley below. The dirty, yellow waters were still raging as we approached the river, full of floating logs and debris as it boiled along its washed-out banks making it impossible to locate any landmarks among the tangled remnants of the storm. My map was useless; I could only follow the near shoreline and hope for a crossing downstream. lgdsilicone

I trudged along high embankments and impenetrable forests for three weeks, with my crippled horse limping behind. Knowing that I would eventually have to take a chance, because we couldn’t go on like this, I found a a shallow stretch where I thought the river looked relatively calm, rationalizing that we could possibly cross it.

But I was wrong about this treacherous river.

It knocked off my feet as soon as I stepped into it. My fingers dug into the horse’s mane, my legs dangling helplessly in the current as Conqueror fought the river with faltering steps, slipping on rocks below as his crippled leg gave way time and again. Debris battered us, tree limbs and animals’ bodies, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw it coming . . . just before it hit me. rajafantasy

The gigantic log tore me from my horse as easily as a tigers tears limbs off its kill, and I found myself tumbling downstream like a rag doll.

I fought the river as I have fought everything in my life, with an unknown strength that comes from nowhere, and belonged to somebody else – someone who deserved the strength more than I, and as a reflex, I unconsciously grabbed hold of the log that dislodged me as we plummeted together down the river. When the log abruptly jammed itself between boulders in the middle of deep rapids, I was able to hold on. And there we remained.

With what little strength I had left, I kept my head above the surging current that roared and frothed just below my nose, but time was running out. I hugged my precious log, my prized nemeses, my benefactor, and I smiled at the irony of the situation.

Not only was I abandoned in this river, but I was forsaken in my impossible quest as well – my key remained as elusive as ever. It was now too late to return to my familiar world, and yet, I could not see my way forward either. I was trapped with no way out. Somehow, I had to find the strength to save myself from this impersonal river that had no compulsion about sparing little lives, I had to make it to that other shore of this river, somehow, and I had to find a way forward in my quest as well. yateartificialgrass

How did this search for an implausible key become an obsession; a key that unlocked the hidden secret of eternal happiness? I wasn’t sure how the passion began, but I knew that I was close to the key, and what could I do now except forge ahead? Everything else in my life was now gone, and nothing in this fleeting world interested me any longer, except for one thing; this, thus far, inaccessible key. bbcforbes

And as I fought to keep my head above water, my thoughts drifted back to the early years of this journey. They had told me then, in the beginning of all of this, that I would only touch the mysteries of that mystical moment sought by truth seekers, that rare consciousness, but given time, I would find a way to remain within it forever.

Yes, I had touched it, I knew that I had, and it was as completely baffling to me then as it was now, but now I could no longer dismiss it as I had before. I knew now that I would either find my key, or die trying. There no longer was a choice in the matter. autoperformancepartsdirect

Gratitude welled up as I held fast to my log and remembered others that selflessly helped me along this agonizing journey. They took me under their wings as if I was the most important thing in the world, and now I could clearly see, in this decisive moment, my own unrelenting self-centeredness . . . and it sickened me. And I had a stone-cold feeling that this time; I wasn’t going to make it.

ut then I caught a glimpse, through the swirling waters, of Conqueror stumbling down the churning river, half-swimming, half falling, exhausted, trying desperately to find his king. What drove this magnificent beast to risk his life time and again for the likes of me? gambleonlineblog

Death was closing in quickly, however, and I became afraid. The invariable peace that arrives just before the end, the peace that stil ls the panic, had not yet arrived. Actually, neither fear nor death would have been a problem if I had nothing left to lose – but I had plans. My life still lacked . . . something, and I was not ready to die quite yet. This was apparent because here I was, desperately clinging to this lifeless log with all of my strength, hoping beyond hope that Conqueror would still save me. gambleonlineblog